The other five biomes are much more enjoyable, but Returnal is a challenging game based on a looping mechanic. There was so much blinding glitter flying at my face at any given moment I half thought I was getting a lap dance by a flatulent stripper. It doesn’t help that your bullets, the enemy projectiles, and all the money you pick up are shiny pulsating disco lights. The only thing I could make out was enough tentacles that I began to question what kind of game I actually bought… The game is super pretty, but I could hardly see the enemies I was fighting. The first of six biomes is incredibly dark. Once you get out of the first biome anyway. I’m a gameplay-first kind of gamer anyway, so that’s okay, and Returnal’s gameplay is…goodish. Okay then… Killing multiple enemies without getting hit grants you boons. She then picked up another alien artifact and literally mumbled that it seems safe less than a second before it extended into a sword. In the first 10 minutes of the game, I watched Selene haphazardly hook foreign alien tech into her suit, and attempt to poke a “docile” parasite.
I lost interest in the story aspect relatively quickly thanks to Selene’s sloppy writing. The story in Returnal is cryptic, mysterious, and solving it requires a lot of digging, interpretation, and reading various logs and data pick-ups. Unfortunately for Selene, her loop is much more Dean Winchester than Phill Connors. Returnal follows an astronaut named Selene, who has crashed landed on an alien world and seems to be stuck in an eternal time loop. Publisher: Sony Interactive Entertainment But when we’re talking next-gen with a new $70 price tag, fine’s not quite good enough. Returnal is a fine game in the strictest sense of the word. Unfortunately, just like any woman who has ever seen me naked, I was mostly just disappointed. A headliner first-party rogue-lite that’s exclusive to a next-generation console? Take my money and show me a good time daddy Sony! There can be a lot going on in any given fight. You could imagine my excitement when it came to Returnal. You can find a video version of this review on my Youtube Channel If you were to look at a list of all the games I’ve reviewed on my website since its inception, you would notice that rogue-lites make up a decent chunk of them.
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